Why You’re At War With Expectations, Part 1
By Lindsay Hindle | Emotion , Focus , Mind , Performance , Perspective Shift
If you’re going to lead your business, career, family, art, health revolution, etc. pretty much anything that means anything to you…
You might find yourself struggling with setting and meeting expectations of yourself and others.
There are three major things you need to grasp in order to be at peace with expectations:
1. Self understanding of your personality
2. Setting realistic expectations
3. Applying the right Self love (I identify 2 types) to the right situation when you see yourself “failing” to meet expectations
Today I’m sharing a powerful tool you can use to help identify your personality so you get the critical insight to stop blaming, shaming, or any other ‘aming’ that’s going on and start to leverage who you are.
It’s from a personality framework called The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.
A simple question “How do you respond to expectations” led Gretchen into a path of research, ultimately producing an excellent assessment and book called The Four Tendencies. Very quickly they are:
1. Upholders respond readily to both outer and inner expectations
2. Questioners readily respond to inner expectations only
3. Obligers respond readily to outer expectations (and struggle to meet inner ones)
4. Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike
Using this test with clients has been extremely helpful for me to get an understanding of how best to work with them – you can access the test here and find out which tendency you are!
You might find yourself struggling with setting and meeting expectations of yourself and others.
There are three major things you need to grasp in order to be at peace with expectations:
1. Self understanding of your personality
2. Setting realistic expectations
3. Applying the right Self love (I identify 2 types) to the right situation when you see yourself “failing” to meet expectations
Today I’m sharing a powerful tool you can use to help identify your personality so you get the critical insight to stop blaming, shaming, or any other ‘aming’ that’s going on and start to leverage who you are.
It’s from a personality framework called The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.
A simple question “How do you respond to expectations” led Gretchen into a path of research, ultimately producing an excellent assessment and book called The Four Tendencies. Very quickly they are:
1. Upholders respond readily to both outer and inner expectations
2. Questioners readily respond to inner expectations only
3. Obligers respond readily to outer expectations (and struggle to meet inner ones)
4. Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike
Using this test with clients has been extremely helpful for me to get an understanding of how best to work with them – you can access the test here and find out which tendency you are!
Knowing your tendency is helpful as you may already be reflecting on how you met your goals this year with the golden question:
Did I accomplish or move the needle on what I most wanted, in a way that felt good? Why or why not?
Once you take the test, I would absolutely love it if you go reply inside The Bravery Lab and let me know which tendency you are and what your thoughts/feelings are about it.
Not part of my online tribe of aspiring leaders, entrepreneurs & creatives? Then by all means come join us here.
