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Radical Secret 1 of 5 To Be A Finisher

By Lindsay Hindle | Courage , Emotion , Focus , Mind , Performance

Be a Finisher series is all about giving you radical secrets to help move you into finishing what you start, stop procrastinating and get into confident, focused action. You can read or watch the series if you prefer.

The secret that I’m going to share today, and every secret I’m going to share from Monday through Friday, felt radical to me initially when I started to apply it to my life.

But the benefit when I did was that I moved out of my procrastinating ways, my hesitation, and really moved into a new way of being, of flowing with life, really getting into momentum, and really holding myself accountable to my own dreams and being the designer of my life and my business.

So, are you guys ready for secret number one?

Radical secret number one is radical self-responsibility.

This phrase changed my life:  You are 100% responsible for everything in your life and not in your life.

(Click here to watch this same message if you’re a fan of video)

When I heard this phrase, my initial reaction was like, oh no. Don’t even try and tell me that. Like my first initial reaction was, that is crazy. Especially being a systems thinker, a systemic thinker, knowing about a lot of how things are interweaved in the world. I was like, no. That’s not right. Blah, blah. Okay? So, my initial resistance was push it away.

But, when I asked myself, well, what if? What if I applied this to my life? I’m 100% responsible for everything in my life and not in my life. What would happen?

Because really what do you lose?

What do you lose when you say I’m 100% responsible for everything in my life and not in my life and you start to move in the world in that way? You only have to find out. Right?

So, what did I find out when I applied this?

Let me give you an example…

When I bumped up against someone who I felt was being unsupportive of my dream, and I asked that question like, okay, this person is showing up in my life saying things in a way that I don’t feel supported by, I feel demotivated by. And what I really want is this person to support me. And, when I looked at it through this lens, I’m 100% responsible for this person being in my life and supporting me, what did that mean?

That meant that I had to take responsibility for telling them what I needed.

Yeah. I had to take responsibility for telling them what I needed to hear, how I felt supported or not.

Because, guess what? That person didn’t know.

That person didn’t know what words of affirmation to give me. They didn’t know that what they were saying in my field of interpretation, how I was interpreting it felt demotivating.

So, guess what? I took responsibility to say, hey, you know what?

When you say these things, this is how I take them. And, even though I know I’m interpreting them this way, what I really appreciate from you, I know you want to support me.

How I feel best supported is when you say X, Y, Z, or when you do X, Y, Z.

So, do you see how I moved into a position of taking responsibility for that relationship?

And I could have spent eternity just being completely upset and being like, okay, you know what? I’m just going to cut this person out of my life because they’re toxic, blah, blah, blah. Right? Well, sometimes you can’t do that, especially if that person is a family member and especially if you like that person. Right? You just don’t like how they’re talking to you or supporting you.

“I’m 100% responsible for everything in my life and not in my life” allowed me to step into greater ownership of designing that relationship with person. And you know what happened?

They rose to the occasion.

Let’s talk about another example from the field and the viewpoint of manifestation.

Those who are really open to the ideas of manifestation, one of the beliefs is that the universe is here to support us and that we can ask the universe to help us, to bring us things that serve our highest good.

Now, when you say I’m 100% responsible for everything in my life and not in my life, guess what?

It is your responsibility to ask the universe to help you serve your highest good, to bring you things that will unblock you, solve something, open your eyes, open opportunities.

Because without asking, how do we receive? Without asking, without saying and actually using ourselves as a tool of communication with the universe and taking responsibility for that, ask and taking responsibility for that receiving, if we don’t do that, we stop that flow. Okay? So, I can ask the universe to send me things.

When you think of all the times you may have unconsciously asked the universe for help, what showed up?

We often forget that we can ask. I even do this too.

So, as a very ambitious, focused person now, I have to keep a balance. I know that I am 100% the director of my life. And, at the same time, I know that I am in partnership with the universe and I’m responsible for that partnership, which means asking and receiving and not just doing and planning all on my own!

So, this is an interesting kind of twist. Right? It’s a radical kind of concept that, even though the universe supports you, you are still responsible for navigating and activating that relationship.

So, you get to ask the universe to send you things.

If you’re bumping up against, let’s say, a health issue, you’re bumping up against a health issue and you have tried so many different practitioners, so many different ways to try and heal yourself, and it’s just still not happening, you can ask the universe to send you, send you the healers that are there for your highest good.

Ask the universe to send you what or who, give you a sign that leads you into our full, abundant health.

And, by asking and taking ownership of that, taking responsibility for asking, you will draw to you.

The universe will deliver the next step. It might not be the complete step, but it could be like the right step for you to the next step, to the next step, or the person, to this person, to this person.

That has happened multiple times in my life.

Asking the universe to send me mentors, to lead me and guide me to the next step, the next person who can help me fully open up and expand my spirituality, my spiritual side. So, this works beautifully.

So, you guys, the phrase, I am 100% responsible for everything in my life and not in my life, this is radical self-responsibility.

This is secret number one to being a finisher.

Radical self-responsibility is not necessarily easy, but it can be so rewarding when you take this position and you start to use this question in your life on a day to day basis.

Now, tomorrow I am going to talk about something that is going to help this feel a little bit softer because, guess what?

I know I’m talking to perfectionist prone, ambitious, heart led humans who have a big vision of like saving the world sometimes.

And sometimes we’re prone to making EVERYTHING and EVERYONE ELSE our responsibility too, in a huge big overwhelming way.

Us perfectionists also tend to self-sabotage with self-criticism when we don’t meet our crazy high standards. So taking 100% self-responsibility can easily end up feeling burdensome and like you’re never doing enough!

Well, tomorrow’s Be A Fisher Secret Number 2 is going to help with that. So be sure to watch the livestream at 8:00am PDT on my Five Sights Co Facebook page by clicking here or checking out the next blog post!

xxx ooo

Lindsay

The ONE ingredient every successful person has

By Lindsay Hindle | Mind , Performance , Perspective Shift

Have you ever made a recipe and skipped an ingredient (or two) casually assuring yourself “It’s no big deal”, only to have it turn into a mess even your neighbour’s goat wouldn’t eat?

I know what you’re thinking…who lives next to goats?!

If your ideal life includes a purposeful career or biz, you *might* need things like:

  • the courses that help you build skills
  • the camera and equipment for the ‘perfect’ livestreams
  • the head-to-toe crystals for health, prosperity or fame

But the FIRST ingredient you need is…

PERMISSION.

Granted BY YOU, FOR YOURSELF, to allow yourself to want what you want.

Because without it you know what happens?

Shrinking and hiding.
Deciding then backtracking.
“I need X and then I can have or I’ll be ready for Y.”
Half-way starting.

That type of thing.

You could be holding back on the things you really want and not even see it. For example:

You might want to hire a personal trainer. Seems reasonable to get an expert to help you train in the best way possible. You even tell your best friend you’re going to hire a trainer.

And then you don’t.

Why didn’t you follow-through? Because somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain a belief was lurking:

“We’re not allowed to want to be happy and powerful.”

Fit (the outcome to training) = happy + powerful

Could be a million reasons why your brain tells you that; messages from Mom & Dad, the culture you grew up in, examples of nasty powerful people that make power seem evil, any number of ways you’ve interpreted the world.

So how do you vaporize that accidental programming?

First, get honest with yo self…is it possible you skipped telling yourself it’s ok to want what you want?

Second, give yourself permission! Write it in a journal or record a voice note using one of these prompts:

“I have permission to…”
“I am worthy of…”
“I deserve…”
“I’m claiming my right to…”

And fill in the blank with your desired new normal. Better yet, tell ME in the comments what you are giving yourself permission for.

I’d love to support you in any way I can!

P.S If you haven’t already, make sure you’ve discovered your Confidence Persona This three-minute quiz will help match you with a confidence-building toolkit based on your gaps. Take the quiz now.

Why You’re At War With Expectations, Part 1

By Lindsay Hindle | Emotion , Focus , Mind , Performance , Perspective Shift

If you’re going to lead your business, career, family, art, health revolution, etc. pretty much anything that means anything to you…

You might find yourself struggling with setting and meeting expectations of yourself and others. 

There are three major things you need to grasp in order to be at peace with expectations:

1. Self understanding of your personality  
2. Setting realistic expectations 
3. Applying the right Self love (I identify 2 types) to the right situation when you see yourself “failing” to meet expectations 

Today I’m sharing a powerful tool you can use to help identify your personality so you get the critical insight to stop blaming, shaming, or any other ‘aming’ that’s going on and start to leverage who you are.

It’s from a personality framework called The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.

A simple question “How do you respond to expectations” led Gretchen into a path of research, ultimately producing an excellent assessment and book called The Four Tendencies. Very quickly they are:

1. Upholders respond readily to both outer and inner expectations
2. Questioners readily respond to inner expectations only
3. Obligers respond readily to outer expectations (and struggle to meet inner ones)
4. Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike

Using this test with clients has been extremely helpful for me to get an understanding of how best to work with them – you can access the test here and find out which tendency you are!

Knowing your tendency is helpful as you may already be reflecting on how you met your goals this year with the golden question:

Did I accomplish or move the needle on what I most wanted, in a way that felt good? Why or why not?

Once you take the test, I would absolutely love it if you go reply inside The Bravery Lab and let me know which tendency you are and what your thoughts/feelings are about it.
Not part of my online tribe of aspiring leaders, entrepreneurs & creatives? Then by all means come join us here.
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